Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

Solomon (Proverbs 27:5-6)

1. In what relationships are you telling people “what they want to hear” just to keep the peace? Is this really helping them? What does it say about your friendship?
2. It’s amazing what you can say to someone when they sense you really care about them. How can you underscore your friendship while delivering constructive criticism (i.e. rebuke or wounds)?
3. Are you on the receiving end of some “open rebuke” and “wounds” from people that care about you? Rather than lash out, become defensive or ignore, wouldn’t it be better to listen, thank them and to seek out their counsel?
4. Using the criteria in this proverb, who are your true friends (…and enemies)?

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Picture:  Tambako The Jaguar via Compfight

Expressing thanks is a powerful tool for inspiration and motivation. It tells people that we care about them and the difference they’re making. In my June 19 post I gave five tips on how to say an impactful “thank you” using the catchy acronym SAIL (Specific Event, Action Taken, Impact, Link to Higher Goal). I received excellent comments from readers, including some who mentioned the versatility of these principles in all walks of life – personal, professional etc.

To illustrate their point and inspire you to apply these “SAILing tips” I’ve added more “before & after” examples. Here they are:

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Thanks…Thanks for everything…Thanks so much for all you’ve done. Great job. Blah, blah, blah…”

Have you ever said that to someone, or had it said to you? It can feel superficial and hollow, don’t you think? For people on the “receiving end” it can even be somewhat insulting – “like…really…the person thanking me doesn’t have a clue what I’ve done or how much effort it took to make it happen.” For people trying to express gratitude, they often wish they could really say something that would be more meaningful and less generic (“blah”).

So how do you express meaningful gratefulness…the kind that doesn’t backfire? Bonuses?…gift cards?…pay raises? While these aren’t bad ideas, they’re mostly over-rated and are no substitute for the power of a heartfelt “THANK YOU.” One of my great mentors, Fred Bolivar (one of the best facilitators I know), gave leaders the following simple and easy-to-remember guidance using the acronym SAIL:

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